Chapter Two

The next thing I know is that when I opened my eyes there was light. There was a purple glow to it and it was because of when I was in sixth grade, I painted it purple. I knew now that it was my room, and I must have gotten some sleep. I don't even remember what had happened. At least I somehow managed to climb up the stairs and walk down the hallway into my room, or so I think.

I rolled over in my bed to find the bright glaring light of six forty AM.

"Great," I mumbled. I needed to take a shower and find clothes in less that twenty minutes.

It isn't that I really care about what I look like. I don't go for all the over priced clothes and the makeup that makes you look like some type of slut. I just need to look decent, I don't need anyone knowing what really goes on. My personal life is personal, of course.

Okay, well actually, I have two personal lives. One being when I see my friends. I mean, I don't really have that many friends. I talk to them in school, but I barely see them out of there unless it is some special occasion. Even then, I can't let them know what happens in my other personal life.

I make my way towards the bathroom noting that the radio alarm clock in my parents room is blasting some type of music, but I ignore it. No one is usually up before me. When I walk into the bathroom, I make sure that the door connecting my parents room to the bathroom is closed. I find it funny how that was probably planned, but for different intentions. I close the other one that goes to the hall, and turn the shower on.

As I wait for the water to warm up, I look at myself again in the mirror. I don't even understand why I put myself through so much pain. Why do I make myself look at this horrible thing? I can't let myself cry though, I think. Once you start crying, you don't stop because you can't. Then it just shows that you are weak, and that is what they want.

So, I decide to stay tough and stop my lower lip from quivering. I make myself look down at the tile as I walk towards the shower door and open it.



I never remember anything the moment I step into the shower. I tend to always blank it out, have myself forget about it. I never used to be like that though, but then again I could be wrong. It has been like this for so long, that it is hard to believe that it was anything different. In my gut, I feel as if it was different. That certain things didn't happen like this, that I was an okay child.

I am not a child anymore. And, I know that I am anywhere from okay.

I am in my room now and putting my wet hair into a pony tail. I grab a pair of jeans and a long oversized black shirt and as I put those on, I try to remember the last time I had my shoes on so I can find them again.

When I find them hidden under my bed, I put my socks and then them on. I race through the hallway, down the stairs, and then in the garage. I push the button for the garage to open, and grab a water while I wait. Once I step out into the driveway, I push the button again to close it and start to walk towards the school.